


Sunrise

by sidewinder



Category: Shanghai Noon (Movies)
Genre: Early Work, Fluff, Internal Monologue, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-20
Updated: 2002-06-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 02:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8603125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/pseuds/sidewinder
Summary: Morning thoughts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another old, never-published story of mine I found recently in my old computer files.

This morning I awoke with the sunrise, as I always do, as I have for all my life that I can remember. To rise at dawn and report to duty was my routine, every day since I joined the army as a young man. Being late for duty resulted in severe punishment—something I learned the hard way. I made more than my share of other mistakes as a soldier and I wear the scars of my punishments, on the inside as well as the outside.

I realize now that the Imperial Army was never the proper place for a man like me. I always questioned too much. I wanted to serve, and yet I wanted the freedom to act and think on my own, not simply obey another's orders. I think I always knew I did not belong there, but I tried not to think about it. No one ever gave me a choice, and I never never thought I could belong somewhere else. After all, I was only the ill-behaved youngest son of a low-level bureaucrat. I was a child with no prospects except a life of trouble, not until my uncle suggested to my father that the army might shape me into something worthwhile. And so I did as my family ordered, what they insisted was the only choice I had.

It took a trip to another country, and meeting a strange, foreign man, to show me that I could know another life. That the things for which I'd been punished before could make me a hero in this other land.

This morning, yes, I awoke with the sunrise, but I stayed in bed, lying beside that man whom I have come to love. Roy never wakes up early, unless it a necessity, and today there is no need. Carson City is quiet; no trains are coming through town until this evening, no outlaw gangs known to be in the area. So instead of rising to exercise and train, I lay beside him in bed and read a book, happy just to have Roy next to me.

He looks so innocent in his sleep, though I know he is far more experienced in the ways of the world than I was at his age. He also looks so young, and so beautiful that I begin to feel unsure of myself, of what he could see in me. He tells me he is happy here, content to be with me, and I believe that he is...for now. But I know how a young man's heart can be fickle. I also do not know if he understands how difficult a path we have chosen, to be together as we are in a land which would not tolerate our relationship if discovered. I know I have the strength to endure, to remain silent...but does Roy? Will he even want to, a few months, or years, from now?

I tell myself not to worry about such things. I should not let troublesome thoughts of the unknown future lessen my enjoyment of this moment, of simply having Roy here, now, anticipating that moment when he will awaken and smile to find me beside him. I know I will stay with him as long as I can bring that happiness to him, as long as his smile greets me every morning, as certain as the sunrise itself. That is all I can ask for, and far more than I had believed I could ever find.


End file.
